It hurts me a lot when ladies are the ones to bend their principles or rules in a relationship. I get the submissive thing, but that doesn’t mean I’ll go against my believe because I want to please you now would it? … Please!
I was talking to a friend of mine recently, who is obviously a strong Christian and whom I presume her priest/pastor would’ve talked about the implications of pre-marital sex, and why sex must not come with the negative ‘pre’ word. We got talking and she was telling me about how she can’t date a guy without a good job, which I smiled to and agreed. She said she cant date a guy wit no house…’ok…ay’, I smiled and agreed to her point of view, but then, I was wondering where she was going to with the ‘house’ thing. And later she said ‘in case they ask me to leave the house, at least I’ll have somewhere to lay my head’. Now that got my attention, and I asked her she would believe that her parents would ask her to leave the house, I really wanted to know where the conversation was headed, and the funny thing was that I felt compelled to probe more. When I asked my question, her response threw me off the rock; ‘no bi every time condom they work now’. Wow. That was all I could utter at that time, I looked at her very well and I was trying to tell myself that I didn’t hear her very well. Not to make her feel ashamed or anything, I looked away and said ‘really?’ ‘Yes of course’ she replied. There was this certainty in her voice that made me want to ask her if she was recently employed in any condom company or she just heard that news about condom recently, because that news isn’t an information to me. Then I told her that; ‘Babe, I don’t even like condom’, and she stared at me weirdly like ‘are you serious’, I nodded my heard in affirmation to what I just said and here she goes again ‘you know your menstruation can come on the day you’re having sex and you might really not be expecting it and that might lead to trouble for you…’. You know, she went on and on about the irregularities of the women menstrual cycle that one would think she has a degree in that field. I stopped her too many preaching because I realize that she doesn’t just get it. She doesn’t get my point at all. My priorities in a guy goes beyond house, I explained, even though I know everybody have a house, because if a house is that place you get shelter from, then even a mad man has a house, it just might not be as furnished as yours. I made her understand stand that the man wouldn’t be needing a condom because he won’t be seeing my panties. She started laughing seriously, and though that got me pissed like hell, her next word got me pisser (if there’s any word like that), not at her, but at our boyfriends, fiancés, mentors, role models, brothers, fathers… generally AT OUR MEN. This friendly friend of mine said ‘who would want to stay with you without testing IT? It can’t work o, we don’t have such MEN in our generation again’ and all I felt like doing was to scream. I told her of one of my mentors that’ll be getting married very soon and she’s still a virgin, going to her matrimonial home like a brand new product… Shasha! Non-tested, but trusted. I tried making her understand that we still have men like that around, she just have to get a better picture of what sex is and remove the picture or mentality of sustaining a relationship with sex… hello! This is not marriage we’re talking about… it is the boy/girl thing.
This conversation I had with my friend really made me angry at men. I don’t want to say all men because I know men that are living right, so my anger is directed to those men that believe so much in testing the product they have not paid for, and in most cases, after testing the product, they end up leaving without buying it. I am angry because these men have not just succeeded in changing our women’s mentality, but they’ve also succeeded in selling the idea of pre-marital sex to them. How can you tell a girl you will break off a relationship because she will not go to bed with you! … That is emotional blackmail in the highest order! How can you ask a girl to sleep with you especially when you know what she stands for, even If you don’t know, please ask! What is wrong with respecting the lady’s decision about not wanting to have sex with you, and groom her to achieve the dreams she has? Why do you have to use her and dump her for the responsible guy to finish the work, and help mend the goods you were set on damaging? Why can’t you be responsible? Why can’t you help her nurture her dreams to be the woman you’re planning to leave her for? What is so difficult in waiting for lesser years than you’ve lived on earth? I understand that all human have blood running inside of them, but this desire is there for us to control it and not it controlling us. When we live our life with sex as our bane of existence, then we’ve turned out to be the manimal we prefer.
Should a girl be entering a relationship with you and be thinking of the day you’ll get all thirsty for sex and no will be an option? So the question is… why stay in such a relationship? Why can’t you guys learn the act of gardening? Why can’t you guys be the gardener the Lord has created you to be? God’s plan for you I believe is not to be the predators you are today, but then, maybe you should go back to the basis and see how you jumped from being ‘mommy’s lil’ boy’ to the ‘all time predator’. What is wrong in being a one woman’s man and grooming the lady you have with you? well I don’t see anything other than you.
And ladies! Please I urge you, do not loosen your guard because your ‘man’ thinks you’re too hard, because the truth is, maybe he’s not worth it after all. If God has made you that way, then he has already created someone that can match such guard and not be scared by it. But rather, most of us becomes scared of being too hard and scaring the men off. I’m not saying you should be unbearably hard, what I’m saying is; have your principles and learn to live by it. YOUR MAN will love you for those principles. Don’t say because frogs are complaining that you walk like a queen then you’ll now reduce your standard to hopping like a frog with them. Do not try that for any man! Your character is who you are, if he cant love you for who you are and what you stand for, especially when what you stand for is to keep you safe from harms way or the dangers of pre-marital sex, then please let him go, because he’s not worth knowing the colours of your panties… just shoo him off!
I’m really furious with these so called ‘men’ and their selfish ideology. Don’t you realise that we need each other to create a better world? After sleeping with her when she’s not your wife, who do you expect to now marry her and continue from where you stopped? Maybe you can accept a wife that has been tested, but try to be selfless and reasonable to understand that some men wants a brand new product that they can enjoy unravelling in the comfort of their home… guess you’ve never thought of it, but please start doing so. Listen, we need you guys just as you guys need us, and it will not be nice if all ladies start getting angry at you guys. We have to be strong for each other to be able to stand the test of time. Does it mean that a lady with a solid principle against pre-marital sex isn’t likely to fall into the temptation of having sex? No! She’s prone to temptation just as the man, but you’ll agree with me that a strong man will be strong for the woman and make her remember her vision and principle, but a vain and shallow man will only take advantage of the situation and you’ll also agree with me that we have most of this kind around us. Maybe you don’t realise it, but taking advantage of someone’s vulnerability is a great betrayal, but even greater when you take advantage of a woman’s vulnerability. That will only make you beast and a monster put together in one package, and trust me, that do not look like the man I know! And maybe you don’t understand its implication, but that woman is not likely to trust you again… I know I won’t. How can I trust a man that feels sex is more important than my vision or principle, maybe he doesn’t say, but trust me, his actions implies it.
Due to this attitude, most ladies have come to believe that they have to bend their rules or stay single forever. Well this means two things, either the responsible men has gone into extinction, which I strongly doubt, or you’re still mingling with the irresponsible men in their comfort zone.
A real man will appreciate you with your principle! It’s actually very funny to think that some men do not like good things. Well I think men like good things, but some are keen on destroying the good ones for other men to deal with. He opens you and takes with him something so pure. This man is a thief with vile intention. He does not deserve the dirt that sticks to your feet, and the only advice I have for you is to ‘step up game’. Do not consider compromising because one ‘dude’ doesn’t like your principle, because trust me, if cant respect that little principle of sexual purity, then he won’t respect the bigger principles to come in the marriage environment… that is if he ends up getting married to you.
Let’s push fear away and embrace confidence in the woman we are, and that thing in which we believe so much in. For those ladies that believe not in sexual purity, I urge you to start believing, because you might think you’re enjoying yourself, and sometimes justify the act to say ‘is it not just sex?’, but believe me, it s more than two bodies coming together, and it is unfortunate that you sometimes realize this when the consequences of your actions befalls, and then you start regretting what you were ‘enjoying’.
Let’s watch out! Stay safe and Play safe, because at the end of the day, this man can walk around and nobody will suspect if he has done anything. But when reality sets in on you, your countenance will speak for itself without your consent. So sometimes it’s not about the relationship you’re entering, but the people involved. How is the driver and conductor navigating the bus, because if the driver misses his way, the conductor should be able to bring him back, but in a situation where both driver and conductor missed their way, they’ll get lost, leaving the passengers to suffer for their irresponsibilities. So let’s watch out, we’re all involved here, and one way or the other we’ll all be affected.
Our ladies should learn to live by their principles against all odds and our men should learn to respect the decision the same way a woman respect the man’s decision. If men are complaining that decent women are hard to find, it is solely because they have made it an irresponsible responsibility to destroy the decency of the decent ones. Ladies! It is better to live with that beautiful principle of your and see what fate has in stock for us, because according to Whitney Houston “if I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe”. No matter what happens, they can’t break you if you don’t let them. They can’t take away that thing so priceless if you don’t allow them, because t the end, you’ll still have your dignity intact. The ball is in your court, be firm with that principle and if he won’t respect you today, a better man will respect you better tomorrow.
THANK YOU.
Maithought... 